Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
