fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
