I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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