me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
