yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
