every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
