marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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