I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
