I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
