I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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