just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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