Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
