how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
