Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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