no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize