Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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