Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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