He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i came on her dog
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
