they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
