Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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