idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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