She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize