i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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