To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
