i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
