If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
