I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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