so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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