Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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