he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
