Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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