i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize