i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
