I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
