So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
