Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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