So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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