i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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