This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
