he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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