I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
