I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
