either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
