Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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