dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
