so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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