this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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