i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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