He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
