So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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