she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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