Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
please come you make the beer taste better
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
