My room smells like vodka and shame
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
