That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize