Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
