her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
