i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
