I need help removing her.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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