That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Alive.
So much puke
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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