I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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