Your face is a jimmy john
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize