one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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