he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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