it was like his penis was on wheels.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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