she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
