farters have to be the big spoon...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
