Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
