and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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