Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
