hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
