I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
