Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
