Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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