This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
