cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
