I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
