She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
