you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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